Revolution begins when we rethink what we deserve…

Dear Diary,
 “We accept the love we think we deserve.” This one line from the book ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower ‘shook something deep inside me. It made me pause. It made me reflect.

As a woman, I’ve seen and felt how our lives have been shaped by silence, by sacrifice, by the unspoken things in our belly and that we must always “adjust.” For centuries, we have been hidden in the shadows always someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, someone’s mother but rarely ever just ourselves.

We’ve been told, directly or subtly, that being born a girl means you must learn to endure.

“Be quiet.”
“Don’t speak too much.”
“Lower your eyes.”
“Endure you’re a girl.”
“धेरै नबोल।”
“छोरी मान्छे भएर सहन जान्नुपर्छ।”

I’ve heard these words. I’ve lived them. I’ve seen how deeply they get etched into our bones.

Somewhere in all of this, we start believing that this is what love looks like. That care must come with control. That love must be earned through obedience. That being chosen, even in pain, is better than being alone. So we stay. We endure. We give everything. And we think it’s normal.

But it’s not. It never was.

This isn’t just about romantic love. It’s about respect. It’s about freedom. It’s about space the space to be our full selves without apology.

We are taught to be okay with less.
Less attention.
Less voice.
Less value.

And that’s where this quote hits the hardest because it’s not that we don’t want more… it’s that we were never told we deserve more.So yes we do accept the love we think we deserve.
But the revolution begins when we rethink what we deserve.

And I’m choosing to rethink. I’m choosing to unlearn.

I’m choosing to believe that I deserve love that doesn’t demand silence.
That I deserve kindness that doesn’t come with conditions.
That I deserve to speak, to take up space, to dream loudly and without guilt.

And maybe, just maybe, if more of us start believing this
if more of us say “no” when we’re told to stay quiet,
if more of us choose ourselves over tradition,
if more of us dare to rewrite what love means
then the generations that come after us won’t have to carry the same burden.

So here I am, saying it for myself and for every woman who’s ever been told to shrink:
I’m not here to endure.
I’m not here to settle.
I’m not here to be loved halfway.
I am here to be whole. To be free. To be loved fully, deeply, and truly because I finally know that I deserve it.